Dave, Conan need a few tips on TV beards

Both men returned from a writers-inspired hiatus and looked like they have been walking the streets instead of camping out at home. David Letterman’s beard rivaled that of Charlton Heston in the “Ten Commandments.” And with his red beard, Conan looked like the brother of actor/director Timothy Busfield, known to wear a beard on NBC’s long-running show – and a favorite of mine – “The West Wing.”

Guys, if you’re going to wear a beard on the air, please, get it neatly trimmed. My man Wolf’s white beard is always smooth and sharp, and my black beard – with some gray creeping in – is a bit lower, but still even and proportional. The key is not to look scruffy on the air. It makes you look haggard, and we know women don’t fall for the Shaggy D.A. look.

What does Wolf think?

“Their beards need work. A decent start but they need work,” he said. “Lots of work. I could give them some advice if they call. I have years of beard experience. My recommendation — shave.”

Dave and Conan, the two of you make more in a week than I’ll make in a year, so call in a good barber and let them start trimmin’.

And you don’t have to hire the guy who cut John Edwards’ “do” for $400.

Please, you’re on TV. So set a good example.