Mark Williams: ‘Letter to Abe Lincoln’ … from the ‘Coloreds’

07/16/2010 7:43 am 11 comments

From Mark Williams’ blog at www.marktalk.com

Astonishing.

In every one of the dozens of interviews that I have done regarding the anti-Tea Party resolution passed by the NAACP I have brought up the absurdity of a group that calls blacks “Colored People” hurling charges of racism. Whats more, each interviewer has defended that phrase and expressed surprise that I would consider that phrase to be racist!

Apparently Colored People are an entirely new race of people and one to which the title applies. Here NAACP President Precious Ben Jealous explains to President Abraham Lincoln the reasons for the resolution in this newly discovered letter :

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew NAACP Head Colored Person

To view the original blog post visit www.marktalk.com

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  • Sgarre1

    this cretin is always on CNN defending his new brand of in your face racism as Conservatism….

  • Go

    I doubt that the author is actually racist – he's not PC but that doesn't make him a racist – but he is absolutely the worst satirist ever. This is a truly retarded piece of writing.

    If he wants to write about the incongruity of the NAACP in using the word “colored” for more currently acceptable terms, or about the short sightedness of the NAACP for promoting conditions of dependency that keep blacks at the bottom of the economic ladder, this piece totally missed the mark. There are some real criticisms that seem to motivating this piece, but they just aren't well said.

    I'm writing this from the perspective of a Democrat and Obama supporter. But I think the current criticism of “racism” isn't proved by this piece. Maybe those who have listened to his radio show can decide the issue based on his day-to-day comments.

  • http://twitter.com/ishtarmuz dale west

    Ishtarmuz in response to Mark Williams’ letter to Abe Lincoln, Wrote Ayn Rand. http://ishtarmuz.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/in-re...

  • Earl

    From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks…

  • Timjuckmann

    I get the impression that the NAACP resolution sent him into a fit of rage and he accidentally let his inner racist out. True it is horrible satire, but maybe because he really believes some of the stereotypes he is trying to send up.

  • Minima

    Use of the term “colored” is not, in my opinion, racist, regardless of who uses it. What’s racist about this “letter” is the presumptive content. The statements, in their weak and ill-advised satirical form, imply that 1) all blacks are welfare recipients or alternately that all welfare recipients are black, 2) that blacks do not make decisions for themselves, but wait for (the government? whites?) to tell them what to do, 3) that blacks do not compete for jobs like the so-called “everybody else”, 4) that blacks are the recipients of and not the contributors to the tax coffers, 5) that blacks are not productive members of society, 6) that whites are the only tax-paying, productive workers of American society who compete for jobs, and that the tea-party is simply trying to “free” the enslaved blacks from Massa Democratic Party Machine because the tea party movement that would make these racist–yes, racist–assumptions about blacks is the only “abolitionist” movement out there.

    This is what is racist about this “letter,” not the reference to “colored people” a term we gave ourselves.

  • chris l.

    This is institutional racism at its worst.

  • chris l.

    This is institutional racism at its worst.

  • Danielleyrot

    Um, wow. His attempt at satire is pathetic, but what's even sadder is that he does not understand how inappropriate this letter is. Somewhere in his mind and in the minds of the savages who he ran this by, it was okay, it was funny. Shame on you Mark Williams.

  • Dusttracks

    Snap….Who are these 'Coloreds' he keeps referring to?

  • Josh Lawarre

    I have to disagree with your assessment that the piece does not reveal this person as a racist. You are right on the money about the author's skill at writing satire; truly abysmal. However, he's attempting to walk a very fine line between being provocative and being compelling by use of this ham-handed device. The only way to make effective satire in this manner is to point to some greater truth or expose some hipocrisy. I view this as nothing more than an angry rant that is written poorly and reveals much about the author's worldview as it applies to “coloreds.” It's as if the author is saying “since racism no longer exists we can feel good about revising the constitution to eliminate protection for those who no longer need it.” It's an under-informed, us-versus-them mentality that seems part and parcel of many tea party candidates' platforms. It would be offensive if it wasn't so absurd and it would be ridiculous if it weren't so divisive because there are people reading it who are thinking “yes. this makes sense. this is the way forward.”

    Also, it's a dubious argument to revere strict interpretation of the constitution so deeply on one hand while with the other hand condemning parts of it as anachronistic.

    Personally, I think the guy is a total Delta Bravo.

    “de tik err jerbs!!!!!” Thanks, South Park…

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