Roland Martin’s Valentine’s Day Rules – Don’t You Just Feel The Love?
OK. Here we go! It’s time for Roland’s Valentine’s Day Rules!
If your woman is already asking you what is planned for Feb. 14, tell ‘em, “Nothing!” But March 14 will be jumpin!
Ladies, if your man spends $150 on some roses that were $40 a month ago, smack his azz for being a bad steward!
If you have been putting off that dental visit, schedule it for Feb. 14. Nothing says I love you like a root canal!
If your mate says you get that “special attention” in bed on Feb. 14, ask them why the other days aren’t special!
Who gets the best Valentine’s Day gift? RETAILERS! Why? Because Feb. 14 is really THEIR day!
If your woman comes out of the bathroom in a flannel gown after you took her to a 5-star French restaurant, there is NO love in your house!
If your man comes out of the bathroom scratching and his knees and ankles look like he’s been kicking floor, put on BB King: the thrill is gone!
If Valentine’s Day is the day to say I love you, doesn’t that mean I Hate You the other 364 days? So say it!
Why are you mad I wrote “I Love YOU” on a post-it note & didn’t buy a Hallmark card? What happened to it’s the thought that counts?
Ladies, stop the peer pressure on Valentine’s. No, I didn’t buy her flowers. Yes, your man is a cheating on you. Mind yours, I mind mine!
If you ask me what I’m getting my wife for Valentine’s Day, say a new friend for her because you are too damn nosey!
If your woman says u cheap because her Valentine’s Day gifts weren’t expensive enough, take ‘em back. Might as well be cussed out and save money!
On Feb. 14, rent Precious & For Colored Girls. Nothing says “I Love You” like those 2 movies!
On Feb. 14, sit down with your mate & watch the TV marathon of Oz. Nothing says “I Love You” like a prison drama!
Feb. 14 is the best day to babysit your ignant nieces and nephews. Tell your mate: “I just love the kids! Wanna come?”
Feb. 14 is the best day to work late. If she gets mad, tell her she motivated you to put in the extra work on the job!
Unless you are a Kappa, Delta or Santa Claus, you have no business wearing those red “I Love You” socks from last year!
Wanna surprise your lover on Feb. 14. Book a weekend getaway to Egypt. Lots of love for Mubarak to go around!
Ladies, ain’t NO difference between flower shop roses and convenience store roses. NONE!
Breakfast in bed on Feb. 14: a microwaved honey bun & an apple. SAME as toast and sliced fruit. The thought counts!
In my mind, baby, I got you a new house & car on Feb. 14 to say I Love You. Remember, it’s the THOUGHT that counts!
Why do I go in on Valentine’s Day? Because it’s not about love; it’s about commercialism. Gifts, flowers, meals, cards, candy and stuff.
Feb. 14 should be called “Makeup Day.” It’s the day folks focus on their lover to make up for the other 364 days of ignoring them.
Feb. 14 is a day of peer pressure. Women put pressure on men; men put pressure on men. Folks have ridiculous stress levels. Why?
I’m a romantic. I like pleasing my wife. Going out. Buying gifts. Showing love & affection. But why do it on one day and not the other days?
McDonald’s launched 365Black to focus on Black History 365 days a year. So why not focus on 365Love? Show your love DAILY, not for one day.
I would think your lover wouldn’t mind “just because” flowers on Oct. 14, Nov. 14 – my birthday! – May 14 or June 14.
I think your spouse would love a card from you on a day other than Valentine’s Day. Or a gift. Or a donation to their favorite charity.
I think your lover wouldn’t mind a spa treatment on a weekend in July or October or May. Is that less significant than Valentine’s Day?
Our silly infatuation with Valentine’s Day has cheapened love. It has made it about the pocketbook & not the heart. The motive is the problem.
If Valentine’s Day is your thing, no problem. But don’t pressure your lover to do things on this day. If all the focus is on Feb. 14, YOU have a problem!
